Confront This

I hate confrontation. Anytime I feel an inkling of a confrontation coming, I want to bury my head in the sand like the ostriches in Dumbo. Simply put, I don't do well. It doesn't matter if someone is confronting me, or I'm confronting them, I end up stumbling over my words, talking very quietly, and totally without conviction. That is what I hate the most. Usually confrontation comes at an impasse -- where no compromise can be made -- thus the butting of heads, so to speak. It is during these moments that all spirit and passion leaves me. Whatever I was standing up for suddenly doesn't matter because I just want to appease the other person at best, and at worst, run and hide.


For those who know me, this is probably hard to even imagine. I know I'm aggressive and competitive, but when it comes to people challenging me and my values/beliefs, then I am surprisingly a chicken. Or ostrich, rather. I take it as a personal attack on my person, and I can't stand people not liking me. The confrontation doesn't even have to be about me per se, but I still feel like they are judging me.

I hate this flaw of mine. I should be more than diplomatic and soft spoken when the other person is often fired up and impassioned. You'd think I could feed off that fire and meet them toe to toe, but it sadly rarely happens. Why? Because I just want to be liked. It makes me sad burning bridges.

Will someone please hand me some matches? I need to keep them in my back pocket just in case.