Tuesday, October 9, 2012

To write about writing

Well it's been over a year since writing on this blog.  One long dry season -- unlike where I live in Thailand since it's raining continuously -- but I do have my reasons.  Partly because I have been so ridiculously busy that I haven't had time to record the happenings of the day, partly because I've had a student repeatedly tell me she stalks me and my blog (and thus I feel a bit unsafe about what I post), and partly because I'm pretty sure I'm the only one that reads this blog, aside from my stalker of course.

Now that I'm done with explaining myself, I'm ready to explore the totally random, and perhaps useless, ramblings that I have become known for.

Sometimes I think my writing is intricately awesome.  Certainly not now, but when I am in my creative zone, I come up with things that are really book-worthy.  But then other times -- times of character description and dialogue -- I look back on what I've written in the past, and I am dissatisfied.  I feel like I am right on the edge of something amazing, but haven't quite figured out how to make it real.  I want to get into the minds of my characters and make them believable and realistic; however, they haven't quite come to life.   It's ridiculously frustrating knowing that my characters are flat and without much personality.  I stress the importance of having realistic characters to my students, and although I consider myself a seasoned writer, I can not reach the writing level I desire.

Oddly enough, I find that the times of inspiration come when I am unable to record them -- in the shower, on my way somewhere (school, church, downtown, etc), or just as I'm drifting off to sleep.  When I do have the time to write, I sit idle in front of my computer with the worst case of writer's block.  At this moment of un-inspiration, writer's block is indeed my companion, and I shall dwell in the depths of despair until it is seen fit that I write again the wonders of my imagination.