Question of the day

As appropriate as this title is, it's not very catchy. So in an effort to come up with something more intriguing I thought of: "The secret life of the American teacher." Of course it's a huge play off of the popular TV series, and corny to boot, but it does provide an outlet (and dandy split) for the things that go on in the classroom and the things that go on in my head. However, there are some pretty scandalous connotations that go along with that phrase....off the top of my head I'm imagining working the street corner, maybe selling opium, or running an underground smuggling ring. Now that won't do at all. So until another title for this running feature presents itself, we'll go with the question. And there was a whooping question asked yesterday.

"Miss Scott, are you pregnant?"

First thing in my head: "Are you calling me fat?"
No, strike that. First thought: "Why do you always have to be a bitch?"
She asks right there in the middle of class in front of everybody, and tries to blame it on someone else. I give her a deadpan expression and told her no. Not that it's anybody's business whether or not I am pregnant. I'm pretty sure she's had more sex than I have.

I'm struggling with why I even care to teach her anything. I'm not sure I do care anymore.

And today I am now the recipient of a lovely picture depicting me as a green witch -- complete with broom and pointy hat -- compliments of the same student. Such nice kids I have. Monday will no doubt be another adventure. The kids have already taken to throwing wads of paper at me. What's next? Rotten tomatoes?