I wish I was a kid again

As I sit here in my first period class full of sleepy-eyed freshmen, I wonder how I acted when I was their age, sitting in the very same chairs. It's true I graduated from their high school -- it's their school now, just as it'll be someone else's school in a few years when they graduate -- but is this how I acted oh-so-long ago? I admire their youthfulness, their free-spirit, and their spontaneity. I admire how they can feel so open with their emotions amongst friends, and how some of them can act very mature for their age.

It's easy to sit behind my desk and observe their interactions with each other in fascination, wondering why they say and do the things they...well, say and do. I reflect on my freshman year -- my first year ever in a public school in the USA -- and although I remember that time through the eyes of an adult, I still wonder if it isn't acurate. I was quiet my first year, and understandably so since I was trying my best to take my social cues from those around me. I sometimes wish that if I acted as these students now act, if I would have had a much more fulfilling high school career. Sure, I was very self-confidant and knew where to place my priorities, but was I social enough? Did I despise my class so much that I sought friends from other grades that I could have a stronger influence on? Are these students going to have the same fate? Will the reserved students sitting quietly and doing everything they are told soon rise up and find themselves? Will they connect with the "mainstream" kids -- the ones who may not get stellar grades, but seem to have it all -- even if it's just for social gains?

I watch their antics and think if I was in their shoes I would undoubtedly do the same thing. I would probably relax on the floor to do the assigned reading. I would probably throw my feet up on the desk in an effort to get more comfortable in the unyelding chairs. I would probably try to whisper in the corner with my friends and tell them how funny the teacher looks, or how I nearly ran into my crush in the hallway.


If I was in their shoes, I would probably be just like them.