10 Reasons Why Soccer Players Are The Way To Go:

Now these are in complete random order because, let's face it, you can't put one above the other.

10. Fantastic bodies. I mean, seriously, have you seen these lean, mean, six-pack machines?

9. Perfect proportions. Okay, so I'm elaborating on #10, but let's get down to business. Looking at athletes in general, basketball players are too tall and gangly, track runners have NO meat on them, football players are WAY too bulky -- either with muscle or fat, who really knows? And then there's baseball players...oddly tall but with fatty beer-bellies. Don't even get me started on golfers -- they are just too flabby. Solution: Soccer players. Perfect bodies: not too tall, not too bulky, and definitely not fat. :)

8. Great reflexes. And for kicks and giggles, I'll thrown flexibility in here too. Bicycle kicks; need I say more?

7. Amazing speed. Yes siree, they were born to run (alright, track stars are born to run, but soccer players do it gracefully).

6. I have never seen an ugly one. (Okay, there was one from some 3rd world country I don't even remember -- but only one.)

5. Endurance. They keep going, and going and going......

4. Not to knock any other professional sport, but they aren't known for their drinking habits. Good, save the liver.

3. They don't need time-outs. For a sport that outlasts basketball, and plays on a field larger than football, soccer players can go all day without a break.

2. They still have a brain left in their head. Yup, they are calculating, intuitive, and anticipate other players like nobody's business. Watch a really good professional game and notice how they move in accordance to their own teammates and the other team. It's flawless how beautifully they form triangles seemingly out of nowhere. They anticipate the opposing team in a way that looks almost like a dance. It's like sex on a field.

1. They claim freakin David Beckham. 'Nuff said.