I know.
We use the phrase “I know” candidly, often times without realizing how flippant it sounds. I know carries two implications: 1) that we were privy to prior knowledge, and 2) that we can commiserate in a shared experience; the “I’ve been through that too,” or “I feel the same way”.
But when I say “I know,” I mean neither of these things. How could I possibly have experienced the heartbreak you have? How could I have known about this before you told me? When I say “I know,” I don’t mean “I understand”. How can I understand where you’re coming from if I’ve never experienced what you’re experienced? Or rather how can I understand when we disagree? When I truly don’t understand?
No, when I say “I know,” I mean I see that this matters to you, I see how much this burdens you, how hurt you are, how much heartbreak this is causing for you. I may not KNOW, but I want to come along side you and tell you that you are not alone. That I grieve when you grieve. That seeing you in pain brings me pain. That seeing you struggle causes my heart to ache.
I don’t mean to be flippant.
I don’t mean to tell you your struggles aren’t real.
I just mean that words are inadequate.
That I will stand by you when you feel deserted and alone, knowing that your struggles don’t scare me away, rather they draw me to you. Because you were brave enough to open your heart enough for me to say,
We use the phrase “I know” candidly, often times without realizing how flippant it sounds. I know carries two implications: 1) that we were privy to prior knowledge, and 2) that we can commiserate in a shared experience; the “I’ve been through that too,” or “I feel the same way”.
But when I say “I know,” I mean neither of these things. How could I possibly have experienced the heartbreak you have? How could I have known about this before you told me? When I say “I know,” I don’t mean “I understand”. How can I understand where you’re coming from if I’ve never experienced what you’re experienced? Or rather how can I understand when we disagree? When I truly don’t understand?
No, when I say “I know,” I mean I see that this matters to you, I see how much this burdens you, how hurt you are, how much heartbreak this is causing for you. I may not KNOW, but I want to come along side you and tell you that you are not alone. That I grieve when you grieve. That seeing you in pain brings me pain. That seeing you struggle causes my heart to ache.
I don’t mean to be flippant.
I don’t mean to tell you your struggles aren’t real.
I just mean that words are inadequate.
That I will stand by you when you feel deserted and alone, knowing that your struggles don’t scare me away, rather they draw me to you. Because you were brave enough to open your heart enough for me to say,
I know.
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| Hermiston sunflower |
*Editor's
note: I wrote this after speaking with a dear friend last year; since
then it can be applied to so many experiences I've shared with dear
friends. We live life together. We go through heartbreak big and
small. But I know I can get through it all with you by my side.
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