Friday, November 2, 2018

Who is Kendal?

These are just some creative musings I had one day as I toyed with a phrase.  I wanted to see how it could play out in any number of scenarios -- I only got to three, but it was fun playing with this mysterious girl called Kendal.

     Kendal stumbled forward with the unexpected weight, catching herself just before she truly fell. The extra bundle the overseer threw onto her frame nearly made her knees buckle.  But she silently gritted her teeth, sent a silent prayer heavenward, and continued down the sloping path. Loose pebbles skittered before her as she trudged the narrow trail, being careful not to stray too far to the right where the mountainside dropped at least a dozen feet.  She was starting to lose track of how many days she had been stuck on this mountain detail.  Her patience was running thin, and if the overseers made her pack any heavier, she was liable to do something they’d regret.
     A loose rock gave way under her feet and her knees ultimately gave out beneath her this time.  She drove the heels of her hands into the dirt to catch herself as the wooden frame strapped to her back propelled her awkwardly forward.
     "This is no time for a break!" A second overseer stomped toward her.
     She tried in vain to stand, but the weight of the frame made it impossible to find her balance.  Her knees screamed in pain as sharp pebbles dug into her skin.  Suddenly she felt the frame shift violently as was lifted into the air like a doll and set on her feet.
   "Now get back to work." The gruff voice of the man towering over her left no room for argument as he shoved her forward.
     She took a deep shuddering breath, gripped the pack hugging her shoulders, and forced one foot in front of the other.  It was only a matter of time before she would cease to be their pack mule.



     Kendal stumbled forward with the unexpected weight, catching herself just before she truly fell. The miniature man clinging to her back held a short blade to her throat.  In the span of a second she had to decide whether to rip the knife away and throw the man off her, or still beneath the sharp edge. She chose the latter.
     His weight did not shift; however, it wasn’t long before she felt his hot breath on her ear as he
rasped, “Do not move if you value your life.”
     “I value many things,” she said calmly, remaining frozen in place.  “Self-perseverance, however, is at the top of my priorities.  How can I help you?”
     “Where is the key?” She could smell his sour breath this time.
     “What key?”
     “I do not play games with my prey,” he threatened, moving the blade tight enough against her throat to draw a thin line of blood.
     Kendal winced, but remained impassive.  “Is that what I am?  Would you mind getting off my back?  This is getting uncomfortable.”
     The man only locked his knees more firmly in place above her hips and grunted.  “Give me the key or I will slit your throat.”
     “If you slit my throat, you’ll never find out where the key is,” she paused.  “It appears we’ve reached an impasse.”
     With one swift shift, she threw the stranger over her right shoulder, hurdling him into the ground, at the same time snatching the knife out of his hand and holding it over his throat.  His startled expression, as well as how he was gasping for breath, brought a smug smile to her lips.
     “Now, little sir, let’s try this one last time.  What key?”


    Kendal stumbled forward with the unexpected weight, catching herself just before she truly fell. James had hoped to knock her flat on her stomach, but she bent her knees to deal with the extra weight, shrugging him off.  She let out a raspy laugh even as he picked himself up and positioned himself to attack once more.
    “You’re doing much better than last week,” he grinned impishly.
    “Now that you’ve used the same method of attack four times, I’m expecting it.”  Her eyes were alight with triumph.  “You may be older, but I’m taller,” she threw his insecurity in his face.
    James’s eyes narrowed as he attacked head-on.  “I have a lower center of gravity.  Better for hand to hand combat.”  He lunged low.
    She dodged his attack easily and used his momentum to drive him facedown into the dirt, straddling him with her knees.  “Well?”
    James squirmed, but had no leverage.  All he could do was grunt in defeat.
    “Who’s the victor?”  She pressed down on his spine between his shoulder blades.
    “You’re the victor,” he let out a puff of air.

Tuesday, August 14, 2018

I know.

I know.

We use the phrase “I know” candidly, often times without realizing how flippant it sounds.  I know carries two implications: 1) that we were privy to prior knowledge, and 2) that we can commiserate in a shared experience; the “I’ve been through that too,” or “I feel the same way”.

But when I say “I know,” I mean neither of these things.  How could I possibly have experienced the heartbreak you have? How could I have known about this before you told me?  When I say “I know,” I don’t mean “I understand”.  How can I understand where you’re coming from if I’ve never experienced what you’re experienced? Or rather how can I understand when we disagree? When I truly don’t understand?

No, when I say “I know,” I mean I see that this matters to you, I see how much this burdens you, how hurt you are, how much heartbreak this is causing for you.  I may not KNOW, but I want to come along side you and tell you that you are not alone.  That I grieve when you grieve.  That seeing you in pain brings me pain.  That seeing you struggle causes my heart to ache.

I don’t mean to be flippant.

I don’t mean to tell you your struggles aren’t real.

I just mean that words are inadequate.

That I will stand by you when you feel deserted and alone, knowing that your struggles don’t scare me away, rather they draw me to you.  Because you were brave enough to open your heart enough for me to say,

I know.


Hermiston sunflower



*Editor's note: I wrote this after speaking with a dear friend last year; since then it can be applied to so many experiences I've shared with dear friends.  We live life together.  We go through heartbreak big and small.  But I know I can get through it all with you by my side.